Why do you coach? That is a question I have asked myself a lot over the last year and ultimately, my why what led me to pursuing coaching on a bigger scale and start Real Life Softball.
Many times, coaching hits you with this love / hate thing. There are so many reasons NOT to coach so the decision to start or continue coaching must not be taken lightly. You have to understand why you’re there and decide if the good outweighs the bad.
Here are some things to consider before making the decision to coach and help you get to your why:
Motivation
First of all, what is your motivation for starting a team or coaching? Classically, a lot of teams and coaches begin because they leave a team they’re unhappy with or because a parent thinks they can “do it better” than the coach they leave. Sometimes it’s because their kid isn’t good enough to make a team and they want to play travel ball. Either of those reasons are not a great motivator to start coaching. I started coaching travel ball in the winter of 2019 when I helped my brother coach my niece. I was a non-parent, volunteer coach, and my brother didn’t ask me to help him – I asked him if I could. I wasn’t there FOR my niece or my brother. I was there BECAUSE of them. It was an opportunity for me to do something I was passionate about and break into a space where I felt more female role models were needed. These days, I help coach both of my daughters’ travel teams, and I always tell parents I’m not coaching FOR my kids. They are expected to stand on their own talent and earn playing time. I am helping coach THESE teams BECAUSE of my kids. If my kids were to decide to step away from the game tomorrow, I would still coach some team somewhere. What motivates me to be on the field doesn’t come from WHO is on the field with me. It comes from my passion and deep desire to help all the kids get better, learn the game and take the lessons on the field into their lives off the field.
The sport
Second, why softball? What is it about softball that makes you want to live and breathe it? Make no mistake, you WILL live and breathe it!
Are you a former baseball player/coach/fanatic who wants to transfer the knowledge of baseball to softball players? If so, GREAT, but please remember that while the mechanics and fundamentals are the same (yes, I absolutely said it!), the game is different. It is faster paced, the rules are different thus the strategy is different. So, what I’m saying is, take the time to learn and understand the game of softball. Honestly, that is the biggest piece of advise I can give any coach – learn and understand the game of softball. Read the rules, talk to other coaches, watch games at all levels, watch YouTube and TikTok videos – put some effort into learning the game so you can help the girls to the best of your ability. You would be amazed at the number of coaches that walk into a head coach position and they don’t know the first thing about the game. It’s a true disservice to the kids if you don’t, and if you’re not willing, you should question your why.
The goal
What is your goal of coaching? This is a biggie. My goal anytime I step on the field to coach or instruct is to make the kids a better version of themselves. There is no part of my why that is about me other than my love and passion of the games and for the kids. Typically, in the end, they make ME a better version of myself, but that is a huge bonus of my time with them. I can’t tell you the number of times I have been on the field with or against a coach that was living some vicarious fairytale dream through his/her kid or the number of times I’ve coached against coaches who have taught their kids how to win (mainly in 8U/10U) without teaching them the game. Anytime you’re more concerned about the W/L columns, you’re not coaching for the kids, you’re coaching for your ego.
My youngest daughter plays rec basketball, and she plays for a fantastic mother/daughter coaching duo. They are the type that will tell the kids what they’re doing wrong, holler at them on the court and then high five and celebrate when they accomplish a goal. They are tough love type coaches, and I’m here for it. They’re the type that like to win and are used to winning; however, with the young, short team we have, winning is not something we do much. After the most recent game the girls finally won, and they said something to the girls that I didn’t quite expect, but it made me respect them even more than I already do. What they said was, “We’re not worried about wins and losses at this age or level. We’re worried about development, and as long as you’re developing that’s a win.” This is something I have said to teams in the past. I’ve always meant it, but I was starting to think I was the last coach or parent on Earth that felt this way.
My philosophy for coaching is the day it becomes about me is the day I should hang it up and stop coaching. It’s ok to want to win. It’s ok to teach the kids to win and enjoy winning. I think that is an enate desire we all have even if it’s buried deep down. However, when the W/L becomes the priority so has our ego, and we’re no longer coaching for the kids.
In conclusion, coaches are always needed. I don’t think any league around would turn away any coach who wants to be there, but as adults, we need to think of coaching as a privilege and an opportunity to impact young people. It’s a big responsibility which is why the why of coaching is so important.
Tell me in the comments what your why is or what you consider to be important to a coach’s why.