They’re only eight. They’re only ten. They’re only twelve. They’re only fourteen. They’re kids and they should be kids! What’s the old saying? If I had a penny for every time I heard it, I’d be rich!
In most scenarios, I hear parents say it about practice or training outside of practice. I hear, “She’s only [insert age]. I want her to be a kid and not feel like this is a job.” Most of the time I simply shake my head and say, “I understand.” However, if I’m being honest, I didn’t necessarily understand until recently when it was put into perspective for me. As a former player, there is nothing in this world I would rather be able to do than play ball every single day again like I did as a kid and young adult. When I was a kid, I constantly had a basketball, volleyball or softball in my hands doing something athletic. Even when I didn’t have anyone to play with (and let’s face it as the youngest and only girl that was often), I took a softball and my glove to the side of our brick house and spent hours throwing the ball and playing the bounce as a grounder. I would make it harder and harder to get with every throw. On Sundays when I was a kid, my dad and I would go to the ballpark. I would stand closer and closer to home plate and challenge him to hit the ball harder and harder. He’d throw batting practice and bet that I couldn’t hit him (literally, him). We’d work on throwdowns, and he’d challenge me to hit the corner of the bases or beat my pop time. I really enjoyed and looked forward to our time together. There were no “drills” we were just out there having fun, and I was constantly “putting in the work” so the concept of working outside of practice taking away my childhood was very foreign to me. Playing sports WAS my childhood.
One day my daughter’s basketball coach asked the team what they need to do to get better. My daughter said, “do the work.” It’s something she’d heard me say over and over. Her basketball coach said, “No, go outside and play. Have fun.” It dawned on me in that moment that I had been taking the fun out of sports by calling it “work”. No wonder my kids react to it like me asking them to clean their room or do the dishes. Then it dawned on me even more that “do the work” or “you have to put in the work” is where “I want her to be a kid” may have stemmed. They say if you love your job, it isn’t work. Gosh, talk about a light bulb moment! We have taken all the fun out of the game. Instead of moms/dads and daughters going to the ballpark to play ball, they’re going to the ballpark to “do work” and that sounds like a job. That’s not to say that kids should avoid drills or putting in work but it’s time that we remember that these are kids and no matter how competitive they want to be, it should be fun. They’re just [insert age]. They should be kids! Afterall, we play a GAME and most will grow up to be a professional something else.
The other time I hear “they’re only [insert age]” is when I hear myself, another coach, or a spouse say it to another parent. I was at practice with a 10U team one time, and the pitchers were pitching live batting practice. After one of the younger pitchers threw four balls and walked a batter, her dad’s reaction was to say to her, “That’s completely unacceptable.” Oh man. She’s only 9. She’s only been pitching to batters for a season, maybe two. Pro and college softball players walk people. Major league baseball players walk batters. So that 9-year-old… yeah she’s going to walk people too! She’s only 9. Now, I didn’t say much, just encouraged her and silently shook my head, but in hindsight, I wished I would have reminded that dad that she’s only 9.
Kids these days are different. They’re more athletic, more advanced in their skillsets at earlier ages, and as such, they feel more pressure at an earlier age as well. Sometimes as parents and coaches, it’s easy to forget that they’re only [insert age] because they are so much more advanced than we were at their age. What we have to do is remember what we were doing when we [insert age] and remind ourselves that they are already doing way more. Take it easy on them. They’re kids, and this is a game. It should be fun. They have the rest of their lives to work.